HOW MY CHILDREN WILL BE RAISED! LOL

True story!

GET THAT KENYAN BEAUTY ALREADY BRUH!!

So you checked out the mama but can't approach her. You might be shy or just afraid of the rejection. Well, here are some steps to get her number:

1.Build confidence. It has been said before and I am putting it out there now, girls always like the confident one. Sure being shy is cute (according to some girls whom I've never met) but you won't get her just by looking at her. Man up and approach her. Take slow but sure strides- like a man- and walk towards her. Smile and game on! Just be yourself and avoid stuttering, she just human mahn!

2.Start a meaningful conversation. 'Do you like pizza?' One of the worst start up lines you can ever think of! What are you a Java house waiter? 'Do you watch wrestling? ' Bruh!! I am a guy but if she would start with that line on me I'd call blue! Try and talk about something interesting and catchy, something that she would sure talk about also. Compliment her dresscode (they like that) or just drop that funny comment you have- just make sure it ain't sensitive though. Try something like 'Hi, you look amazing!! You remind me of someone I once saw in a tv show...' I'll pay you 10k if she don't ask who it is. Or 'Hey, I couldn't help but notice how lovely you look. What's the occasion?  Going on a ...' You can finish that on your own. The objective of a start up line is to gain her interest so score on that and let the games begin.

3.Introduction. So what next after starting the conversation? Get to know her. Ask a few relevant questions about her (to help you track her if you don't get that number tho) but don't seem so keen about it, the last thing you want is her thinking you are a stalker. Tell her a few things about you and keep it simple, it isn't a date yet. Trap her interest in you and make her want to know more about you.

4.Humor. Crack a joke and make her laugh. If you have it in you, that's an instant bonus and she will like you.

5.Wrap it up. After a long and boring conversation (I know of some whose conversations may be mistook for an interview) you may want to wrap it up and go back to whatever it was that you were doing. So once you are certain she can recall your name (smh),  ask her out already! You might not sure if she is seeing someone so just ask to hang out with her as friends. But if kept your intentions straight and she told you she single, get that date! If all goes well, you might end up drinking tea with her parents at their house in a week's time (ouch). So let the games begin and may the odds be in your favour (see what I did there? LOL)

Luhya struggles! LOL

Who does this??? XD

Make Money After Form Four As you Await Life in Campus

So you are done with secondary school and that means nonstop partying and lazying around as you await your KCSE results from KNEC. You still have some of that high school pocket money left with additional funds from relatives for the festive season to ensure the fun never halts. This means endless trips to cinemas and pizza inn for the pleasure of selfies.Days run by as the mullah depreciates rather astonishingly fast and before you know it you are flat broke! With more than seven months to go before you get your letter to join campus, you are doomed to boredom and empty-pocketness (See what I did there? ;-) )as days crawl by-and believe me they literally do. So here are some ideas to try and get some change in the purse-or wallet  and keep the party going:

  1.Work for your parents-This may not go so well for some of us whose parents are old school. I tried it with my dad and when I asked for cash he asked me to pay back all the food and clothes he bought for me since I was old enough to walk. Depressing I know. Anyway just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean it won't worked  for you. Give it a try.

2.Seek a job in the neighbourhood-If the plan above didn't work don't worry try the neighborhood. If you were good in class and the neighborhood knew it, you could academically coach the kids for cash.With willing parents, you can make enough from tutoring children. You could also get a job from a startup school near you and become a teacher (It's better than nothing). And if there is a store nearby you can apply for the retailer spot.

3.Earn from your talent- We all have talents, the only minor setback is discovering them. Personally, drawing is my field of strength. If you are really good at it you can make big bucks from it. Just draw the piece, frame it and look for a potential customer. It won't be easy but hardwork pays. If you are good with music, join some local bands, perform and get paid. Just seek your talent and get income from it.

4 .Start a business of your own- With capital, you are never too young to own a business of your own. We all still have the business knowledge we learned throughout the four years in secondary (assuming you fid business studies) so starting a business shouldn't be that hard. It can be anything from a PlayStation zone of your own to a retail shop. Try it, work hard and be the youngest entrepreneur in Kenya (Assuming there isn't one)

5.Freelancing- Do you have marketing skills, graphic designing or website building ability? Then why not freelance? Freelancing comprises online jobs ranging from editing a piece of document to programming applications. It's a big shot but if you have the skills then why not?

So get your lazy bones up and get paid. You might not need it now but campus is no place for broke people but that is a story for another day.

#wcw vs #mcm

So apparently there are around 73,240,287 pictures on instagram under #mcm while the opposite #wcw has a whooping 114,016,970 picture as of now. So you now know  many #wcw there are compared to #mcm .Sheesh,talk about friendzone!! LOL!

SO YOU SAW HER, LIKED HER BUT LET HER GO

It's the festive season, a lot of travelling and sightseeing going on and you my guy have no choice but to get caught in between the commotion. But you don't mind as long as there is a hot lady to be spotted. So you are in a bus or just taking a stroll in town and you see her. Her beauty beyond imagination, her smile driving you so crazy that you feel weak and have to clutch to a nearby post for support. Her skin radiating it's own magnificent light and her hips...make you feel like you are going to run away screaming 'God is great'. And then right there and then you tell yourself that you are not of her league (huge mistake yo).
Amidst all this, you realise that she is walking towards your direction but not sure she if is coming towards you. You move to give her space to pass and as she passes by ,her perfume floating in the air carries you with it. Making you feel like you are under a spell.
 You get yourself together and walk away sure never to see her again. Well, you like her but you lost her so you dip your fake Beats Audio earphones, search for the Rihanna and Drake hit 'Take Care' and you go on screaming "I've loved and I've lost". Well first you don't love her it's just a crush and second you didn't lose her, you let her go.

BRICKLEBERRY

 I got a laptop for the night, some privacy so what should I watch?? I am a guy so my choices are limited. Then I remember I have something to watch, something to keep me alone and busy for the night, I smirk. Now before you get wrong ideas, please get your head off the gutter so that I can tell you what it is.
So I guess that you are a fan of comedy and animation shows...and some adult shows too...like The Family Guy ,The Simpsons and the like. You heard of Brickleberry?? I know you have because I just mentioned it...anyway this is some crazy funny show. It is so funny you will owe me some 1k if you don't giggle (no cheating).

It's about Park rangers at work with....ahh just google it. Well, I have to get my night going so catch you later...